Should have, Would have, Could have...

Decision, decisions. This blog should be a bit lighter, but probably the most important thought I have and the most commonly used approach when I consider past decisions as successes or failures. When I start to regret past decisions, I commonly say to myself, "two roads diverged."

The working premise:

March 20th 2003, America and the "coalition of the willing," invaded Iraq. This action followed the attack of our Country on September 11th 2001 by foreign terrorists. Intelligence agencies reported that Iraq was in possession of weapons of mass destruction (WMD's) and had intentions of using them. I am writing this as it would have been written at the time of this event, without present day thoughts or evidence. I am trying to discuss these events in terms of the perceived sentiment of the time, since that is all we have available when we make decisions. For the sake of this blog, I will refer to the outcomes of this event as Event (1) and Event (2) to demonstrate my point.

Event (1)

Iraq is invaded, Saddam Hussein is arrested and hanged, we are still embroiled in a dangerous urban guerilla war after seven years and Iraq creeps toward a semi-stable government.

Event (2)

Iraq is not invaded due to lack of evidence of WMD's and Saddam's regime continues under ongoing suspicions of ill will and potential further destabilization of the Middle East region.

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,"

"And sorry I could not travel both,"

"And be one traveler, long I stood,"

"And looked down one as far as I could,"

"To where it bent in the undergrowth;"

When we reflect on a past decision, the Iraq invasion as exampled, we can stand here in our present day with our present knowledge and try to make a judgement on a time that has past. This is not to imply that we cannot learn from our past, but our life lesson in respect to the past is just that, a reflection of the choice we made, good or bad, and the mentally created outcome that could have been. Outcomes that are limited only by our imaginations.

Two roads diverged in a Yellow Wood," our decision point is wisely highlighted by Robert Frost, author of the 1920 work, "The Road not Taken." We face a decision just as the observer faces two paths, or maybe more than two decision paths. We can wish that we could take both paths or decisions, but we of course cannot. "And sorry I could not travel both and be one traveler long I stood and looked down one as far as I could to where it bent in the undergrowth." We can stare at our choices and strain to envision their outcomes, but of course we can never see to the end of the path until we have made a decision and travelled it. Our ultimate outcome is surely hidden as we search the length of the decision, every possible outcome, "to where it bent in the overgrowth." Consider event 1, no one could see the outcome that we now reflect upon, with the knowledge of the present day, the, "yellow wood," the Autumn of our lives.

"Then took the other, as just as fair and having perhaps the better claim, because it was grassy and wanted wear; though as for that the passing there had worn them really about the same."

As we stood on the pivotal decision point and searched for outcome possibilities, we see the two decisions, maybe one better than the other from that point in time, perhaps a "better claim because it was grassy and wanted wear." Event 2 may have looked better in some respects to the observer, but as Frost states well, "as for that the passing there had worn them really about the same." No matter how long we deliberate about a decision, the view of both paths ultimately appear about the same. We at times may say that event 2 is a better path than the path laid in front of event 1, or visa versa. We can never know from that pivotal perspective.

"And both that morning equally lay, in leaves no step had trodden black." "Oh I kept the first for another day!" "Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back."

At the junction when the decision was made to invade Iraq, limitless outcomes were no doubt discussed by very intelligent and experienced professionals, who know more about the truth than we will unfortunately ever realize. I would imagine that, "both that morning equally lay, in leaves no steps had trodden black." There were certainly no absolutes that would have blackened the choices that laid in front of the decision makers. "Oh I kept the first for another day," but knowing how way leads on to way I doubted if I should ever come back." Again, at that pivotal point decision makers may have considered that one day the decision not taken could be revisited, but in reality we can never go back to the point at which we made the decision...no matter how obvious the outcome is to us when viewed with future eyes.

"I shall be telling this with a sigh, somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood and I- I took the one less travelled by, and that made all the difference."

We are here in 2010, 7 years after we have witness the human and financial cost of event 1, and we are individually defining the meaning of the word, "sigh." If you have lost a loved one while they fought in the Iraq war, you may define the word sigh as a sorrowful sigh. If you are an Iraqi citizen who feel the hope of a new life, you may define the sigh as a sigh of great hope and relief. If you were George W. Bush, you may define the sigh as regret or guarded optimism...we can never know, but one thing we can agree on is that the word sigh and its meaning is individual and the crux of this whole poem. Four time Pulitzer Prize winning poet, Robert Frost was no stranger to great sorrow and celebrity and in his own words said of this poem, "That poem is tricky, very very tricky." I think he was absolutely right. Many have recited this poem and defined the meaning as being a statement of non-conformity. They see it as, "a road less traveled." They take from that to be that the traveler had taken the road that others found has not, an more non-traditional road. The problem with that of course is that the name of the poem is, "The Road Not Taken." This would to me, state that Frost was not suggesting the poem as an ode to nonconformity.

Two roads did diverge in the decision to invade Iraq and to a less important approach, to every decision that we consider and make. "Two roads diverged in a wood and I- I took the one less traveled by." The road or decision that we didn't take is certainly the road, "less traveled by," because it was not the road we took, not the decision we made. As we reflect on the past decision, with the present knowledge of the outcome and our imagination to fill in the blank slate of what would have, could have or should have been, we may say, "and that made all the difference." The difference, good or bad, success or failure, complicated or simple...it did make all the difference, to us.

It is incredibly difficult to reflect from our personal "yellow wood," the Autumn of our lives, no matter what age we are when we reflect upon the outcome, and not feel that we made the, "right decision." The decision made and the outcome that we lived, good or bad, is more realistic to us, since we did experience it. The other decision, "that morning equally lay," cannot be saved for another day. The past has expired and the ability to change it has past as well. We can however, reflect on it as honestly as possible, but ultimately this exercise ends with a sigh. A sigh for us to define and, "that...made all the difference."

I thank Robert Frost for the insight he has imparted. It has helped me many times to reflect on countless decision and makes sense to me and hopefully to others...if you made it this far down the "Road Not Taken."

PM